14 – THE HITTER
If bowlers need ticker you can also say, with a degree of certainty, that batters need it too and although it is quite true that bowlers more often than not win you games, the batters set them up. Batting is all about how you handle so many different types of situations and conditions and still come out on top especially when somebody is trying to maim you with a little red five and a half ounce missile. You need courage, concentration, luck, determination and no small amount of skill. So here’s my short tribute to some of the best I have batted with at Villas over the years…and no Browny…you are not included!
Nick “Ginger” Gibson
Hardly anybody has ever had a bad word to say about Ginger apart from anybody behind him in the queue for the teas on a Saturday; far from a natural athlete, he is still going “strong” in the Wetherby League, gracing Green Hammerton CC Sixths most weeks. Fat and bespectacled seemingly from birth with a big mop of ginger hair modelled on Noddy Holder, he wore a moustache you only saw in old German porn films. He had two wonky knees even from the age of fifteen so it was hard to see him as being “Born To Run”. However, Ginger was and probably still is, a hugely talented batsman and a run machine. He’s also left handed, a Springsteen nut and prefers younger women – heck I don’t think I’ve ever had more in common with anybody else I know…if you discount the diet.
His shot range was limited to say the least, but with good players this is often the case as they seldom waste opportunities to score. In addition, he had great timing and so was able to restrict damage to those knees by simply limiting his running…in other words he just didn’t do running. His greatest asset was his hand-eye coordination which made him a natural wicketkeeper as well and was never better illustrated away from cricket than when, as a fit young lad half his size, I took him on at Badminton. Without moving from the spot the fat lad simply murdered me; I came off looking like I had done ten rounds with Mike Tyson in the jungle. Sheer talent.
Allan “Duck” Stockdale
I’ve written about his batting already and the record books say it all; however, Duck’s greatest strength was the number of times he dug us out of a crisis and there were plenty of them. It was rarely pretty, but in later life, and at the behest of Black Cloud, he did become more expansive– largely because she would only let him bat ten overs before he had to take over the child minding. His true value was in how highly the opposition viewed his wicket…probably because they knew if he batted any length of time that a sleeping pill would be less effective.
Mick Birts
Birtsy has had a couple of spells at the club and now plies his trade down the road at the local “enemy” Thackley CC. Another fat lad with a dislike of running for his runs – and there were plenty. One stint as captain but pressures forced him to seek sanctuary in his caravan at some third world resort called Skipsea. Ungainly, sometimes ugly, but rarely ever gave it away once he got in. A prolific scorer and seemed to get better with age. Great lad and one of those local characters that brighten up a Saturday.
Steve “Webbo” Webster
It’s probable that the record books will not reflect kindly on Webbo in terms of pure statistics but he never played cricket with one eye on a spreadsheet; he always had two on whatever skirt was on the boundary edge. He’ll probably agree that he could have done a bit better, but one innings stands out in my memory. We were at home to Denholme with their tearaway fast bowler, Spenner, threatening to destroy us. However quickly Spenner bowled though, Webbo just smashed him further and further, most of his nose end. A shortened Villas career, sadly, he also ended up at Fat Lads camp in Green Hammerton before his knees gave way under the weight and the wife finally cottoned on and chucked him out. In exile on the West Coast at the time of writing.
Chris “Chiz” Hizzett
Chiz is another lad for whom a lap around the ground means time for another pint and living proof that athleticism is not a pre-requisite of batting prowess; simply put he is a natural timer of the cricket ball. How he gets to the wicket is a mystery because the man is a walking bandage; there is no need for Chiz to warm up as he is generally sweating buckets by the time he has hauled on all the various strappings that hold him together.
If his wife Linda wore as much strapping, he would be asleep long before she got it all off although knowing Linda, not for very long. A fixture at first slip – even when the opposition have passed three hundred – the man lives for batting. And Linda of course. Rumoured to have finally retired 2011 but these things have a habit of being under permanent review; a few Saturdays with Linda down the Arndale should do the trick.
Barry “Hawkeye” Hawksworth
On his day one of the most brutal and destructive batters I have seen on a consistent basis at the club. He came with a huge reputation although not necessarily cricket related many, many years ago and has never disappointed on all fronts. Barry was simply our key player over the last decade – a real character and, to be honest, a total nut job. Always keen, sometimes over keen, to display his wares in the dressing room leading to ECB to consider a new policy on Flashing In A Dressing Room. In latter years the carves over cow corner were replaced by “red ink” the term used for batters with one eye on their stats as Barry rarely gave it away.
Eventually a helmet replaced the old green Undercliffe CC cap, worn for many years, although there was no obvious evidence that there was a lot to damage upstairs. A natural in the field too and kept wicket many times he displayed worrying signs of calming down in 2009 as a woman entered the fray. Thankfully season 2010 witnessed the first Villas batsman – Barry – ever to attempt break dancing at the crease after another bludgeoned six. Len Goodman would definitely have given it a “seven!!” Sadly, the woman won the day and he now plies his trade in the Halifax League or as he calls it the Chip Shop League. Rarely do I say it but the Villas has not been the same since Hawkeye left.
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