Musings From The Padded Cell

I’m Franz Beckenbauer! – Ch1 “Fifty Not Out”

Here is a follow-on to last week’s post about the dire state of grassroots football. Taken from my award winning third book – my mum liked it – this is why my footballing career never rose out of the Sunday morning dog shit.

The Fickle Beauty of Cricket {Adapted from “Learning To Lose” Ch 5 Fifty Not Out}.

“Success consists in going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” Sir Winston Churchill.

Down Memory Lane – The Great Milk Crate Test Matches (Ch2 – Fifty Not Out).

“I tend to think that cricket is the greatest thing that God ever created on earth – certainly greater than sex, although sex isn’t too bad either.” Harold Pinter. As a child growing up in the Seventies, the summer holidays were greeted with relish and anticipation. The smelly and worn school uniform was unceremoniously dumped […]

Down Memory Lane – The Good Old Days – Ch 4 Fifty Not Out

“Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren’t always good and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems” Billy Joel

“Fifty Not Out” (Chapters 19-24) – Regrets…I’ve Had a Few

19 – CATCHES WIN MATCHES “Cricket is a most precarious profession; it is called a team game but, in fact, no one is as lonely as a batsman facing a bowler supported by ten fieldsmen and observed by two umpires to ensure that his error does not go unpunished.” John Arlott Generally it is always […]

“Fifty Not Out” (Chapters 13-18) – Changing Times

13- WHITE BEAR FC “It is not whether you get knocked down, it is whether you get up.” Vince Lombardi I’d always viewed the White Bear pub with a degree of fascination, a scruffy little outpost, perched on top of the hill overlooking Idle Village like an advanced warning post for the occasional lunatics coming […]

“Fifty Not Out” (Chapters 7-12) – How I Nearly Killed My Mum Playing Golf

7 – GOLF AND WHY I AM CRAP AT IT “How did I make a twelve on a par five hole? It is simple. I missed a four-foot putt for an eleven.” Arnold Palmer Chances are that if you have played any form of sport you have been invited to play a game of golf […]

“Fifty Not Out” ( Chapters 1-6 ) The Early Years

FOREWORD Sport has been a major part of my life and remains so some forty years later. Sacrifices have been made along the way – some logical, some dubious to say the least – but I would not swap a minute of it. From freezing cold, muddy football pitches to standing twenty yards away from […]

Fifty…and out.

Time To Say Goodbye It’s a deluded old fool that fails to recognise when his time is finally up so this weekend it’s time to call time on a first team career lasting over thirty years; the old lion is leaving the pride. I started playing for the team before most of my team-mates were […]

Why Primary School Kids Can’t Climb The Stairs – “Fifty Not Out” – Ch3

Who Bought the PM a Copy of “Fifty Not Out? At last the Government seems to have woken up to the fact that, as Lord Coe recently said “far too many young people are leaving primary schools barely able to climb a flight of stairs”. With the recent announcement of a £150m per annum investment […]