“The best place to be is here. The best time to be is now.”
Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
I was chatting with a lovely young lady at the weekend and, for a while, the conversation was flowing unusually well although it was only a matter of time before I ensured another long weekend with Big Al and another kind of flowing.
She seemed keen to understand why I’d chosen to stay in Bradford all my life as if it was some dreadful curse cured only by a Leeds postcode and a John Lewis carrier bag.
“Which bit do you live in?” she enquired sympathetically. Refusing to take my old pal JB’s approach many years ago by answering “the bit near Leeds” I offered a truth of sorts.
“A lovely quaint village well away from the nutters!” I offered.
Here I omitted to mention the “quaint” bit was largely based on an abundance of pubs and a great chippie that does “light” meals for the health conscious man, homeward bound after a gallon at the local.
I sensed a growing empathy – maybe my Mum would get to wear that big hat again one day – so asked what she did for a living.
“I work in mental health” she said before walking off never to be seen again.
Some things are just meant to be.
{I realise mental health is a very serious issue. However, once we stop being able to laugh – especially at our own failings – then we really have lost the plot. I fully expect to end my days having my chin and various other areas wiped by Bucharest Bettie in some secure facility. Until then, it is what it is.}
Still Growing
Not long left till I can rid myself of the furry top-lip and the humiliation of Porno Tash’s all-conquering effort rendering mine pre-pubescent. All donations welcome please with the loser (me!) donating to the charity box in The Scruffy next week.
The Idle Draper
Would you believe it Idle now has it’s own clothing brand – see The Idle Man – whatever next?
A quick look at the range suggests an open night at The Scruffy would barely sell a pair of socks and The Fishermen are unlikely to dump their woolly sweaters for a fitted, “ribbed” look over assorted beer bellies.
This weekend also sees the official opening of our very first micro-pub in the village – The Idle Draper – and a welcome addition this is. Good luck to all involved.
Since I wrote the attached article in 2012 a lot has changed in the pub sector but, whilst the rate of pub closures has slowed, the threat to many locals still looms large.
As the property market has recovered, moreso in areas such as London, many pubs have vanished as the large Pubcos (pub operating companies) continue to manage down their debts that no honest man could pay by cashing in. Since 2007 almost 7,000 pubs have been lost.
The two biggest operators – Enterprise Inns and Punch Taverns – own around 8,000 pubs between them out of a total UK estate of around 50,000.
Both have only recently moved back into profit after years of pain from their bankers and bond holders passed on to thousands of tenants and customers up and down the country.
Beer drinkers have had to endure stealth taxes to keep the bankers’ bonuses flowing, enough to turn good men to drink.
The emergence of the micro-pub – whilst unlikely to cause the CEO’s of the Pubcos sleepless nights – does offer drinkers more choice and in an era when the quality and choice of real ales in particular has never been better.
However, the battle to save local pubs continues though so good luck to campaigners fighting to save the last pub in nearby Heaton.
“The Save The Kings Arms group is bidding to save the 200-year-old pub of the same name on Highgate in Heaton, which closed in May and is understood to be on the market for £235,000.
The pub, owned by Enterprise Inns, has been listed as an Asset of Community Value, giving the group until November 25 to confirm its ownership proposal before the property can be sold.”
This is so much more than numbers on a balance sheet; I could not imagine life without The Scruffy. So, if you have a few quid to spare, why not visit The Friends of The Kings Arms excellent website.
In an era when the banks are paying sod all – despite earning a small fortune from the eye-popping, greed-induced debts of the Pubcos – a decent return on your money and the knowledge that you are helping save a great pub looks value in any currency.
Do As I Say, Not As I Do
A very interesting piece of journalism by Private Eye contains details of local authorities where councillors have been charged with non-payment of council tax.
“At Bradford city council…six councillors had to be summonsed to court – the highest number in the country. None of the six brought their accounts up to date before their court hearings, so the council had to get liability orders, allowing them to seize money or goods in lieu of payment. The council exercised those powers in all but one case, diverting members’ allowances to repay the outstanding amounts.”
Take a look here and see how your council compares.
Simply put they should all be booted off the council as they have no right to vote on matters that impact on those who can be bothered to pay their taxes. And, for a cash-strapped council, wasting time and money here is scandalous.
To see who they are here’s the link.
Bah Humbug
One of the delights of the modern world is digital radio which allows you to escape BBC Radio Latte and the insular, jumped-up luvvies who have no idea about anything outside of the M25 around which I am sure they will build a wall soon too.
However, my regular defence – Smooth FM – has decided in mid-November to assault my senses with a bombardment of Christmas songs. It is like sat at my desk being water-boarded with my toenails on fire at the same time.
If anybody has any sensible suggestions how I can survive until the new year answers please?
Dinner Date
Feng Shui- a system of laws considered to govern spatial arrangement and orientation in relation to the flow of energy (chi), and whose favourable or unfavourable effects are taken into account when siting and designing buildings.
Having followed the Chinese art meticulously to reshape the old house over the last few weeks my first dinner guest arrived. I found him sat outside The Scruffy selling The Big Issue.
As they say…things can only get better!
And Finally
Having managed to offend the mentally ill, women, robbing capitalists, London luvvies and crooked councillors (who clearly won’t read this just like their council tax bills) why not finish with old God himself?
Have a great weekend!
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