Musings From The Padded Cell

The Italian Job

HAUL BELIEVED TO BE OVER £20M…SNATCHED FROM UNDER EMPLOYER’S NOSE AFTER FOUR YEAR DECEPTION…BOSS CONFESSES “WE NEVER UNDERSTOOD HIM BECAUSE HE COULD NOT SPEAK ENGLISH!”...BELIEVED TO BE ON A BEACH SOMEWHERE IN ITALY! Oh what a tragedy! I sat down … [Continue reading]

A Beauty Therapist? (Rated PG!)

A beauty therapist friend of mine recently told me she was thinking of adding a new service called a vagacial to her range of exotic treatments. Strangely, I read about this new craze, with incredulity, about a year or so ago in the Sunday Times … [Continue reading]

A Critics’ Corner – Chapter 5

5 - My Lucky Day The best of childhood friendships endure most things the ups and downs of adolescent life can throw at them; I was lucky enough to have the best mate a kid could have growing up at Villas in Duck and that remains the case all … [Continue reading]

The Great Property Panto

Like me, you probably watch far too much television in the dark winter months. Life was a whole lot simpler when we had the Test Card, three channels, a snooker cue for a remote control and the disappearing black spot at the end of the night’s … [Continue reading]

A Critics Corner – Chapter 4

4 - Growin' Up When I was a lad - here we go I hear you say - as far as a junior cricket structure went at Villas we had one team that was effectively “one size fits all” competing at the Under Eighteen age level. Coaches were indeed merely forms … [Continue reading]

A Pub Landlord? – Tyke Taverner March 2012

I was sat in The Scruffy the other night – my pet name for the local pub The White Bear in Idle – gently caressing my glass when I could not help but stop and wonder how it was that this weak pint of beer, one of the few regular comforts of everyday … [Continue reading]

A Survival Expert?

“Fancy a walk at the weekend?” said my mate Squire Patch lover of all things rural and ever keen to get outdoors to try his latest purchase from Go Outdoors having seemingly taken on the task as saviour of the UK Retail sector. I had to admit that … [Continue reading]

A Master Baker?

Given that I spent last Saturday afternoon cleaning the kitchen cupboards inside and out there were surprisingly few revelations and, thankfully, nothing dead and rotting behind the boards. Dear old Gladstone, my long deceased pussy, was fond of … [Continue reading]

A Critics’ Corner – Chapter 3

3- My Father's House I have absolutely no idea how I became obsessed with the game of cricket but it has influenced my life massively from a very early age. It’s the sort of game you either love or hate with equal passion and as so much of it … [Continue reading]

The BBC – Waste of Money?

Saturday was one of those almost never-ending mid-winter, post holiday weekend afternoons that reminded me that I should keep playing cricket until they pop me in the coffin ideally carried straight from the field after one final flowing off-drive … [Continue reading]