Sport at the very top table is awash with cash, no more so than football which was amply demonstrated this week with frantic last minute transfer deals topping an eye-watering £835m as the Premier League transfer window closed.
Funded by a seemingly bottomless pit of television cash the game long ago lost its true connection to its roots. As a parade of swarthy skinned recruits faced press conferences up and down the country – flanked by agents and interpreters – what of the national team?
You had to look hard to find English players amongst the multi-million pound transfer deals and it is quite clear, as if anyone really doubted, that the brutal reality inflicted on England at the recent World Cup is here to stay.
As the national manager tried to talk-up his young side ahead of a friendly against the mighty Norway, the real business starts next Monday with the first qualifier for Euro 2016 away to Switzerland.
In a group made up by the footballing powerhouses of Estonia, Lithuania, San Marino and Slovenia there is a real possibility that England will not make the finals; even if they do few will book a second week’s hotel accommodation unless exploring France is attractive.
Yet the fatuously titled Premier League will steam on aided and abetted by an influx of foreign owners desperate to park their cash safe from prying eyes or intrusive regulators.
They once called it the beautiful game and real men with bad haircuts sweated blood for the Three Lions. A few days ago the public showed what they really thought about the national team with Wembley not even half full.
The Spirit of Cricket
Delivering the 2014 MCC Spirit of Cricket Cowdrey Lecture at Lord’s this week, Sir Ian Botham called for the Indian Premier League (IPL) to be scrapped alleging it “too powerful for the long-term good of the game“.
The IPL was first staged in 2008 and is the richest cricket tournament in the world spawning imitations across the globe all seeking to cash-in on the current obsession with the 20/20 format.
However, allegations of spot-fixing and illegal betting have blackened the image of the IPL and cricket in general. How ironic that ex-England player Graeme “Anything For A Quid” Swann seems comfortable advertising online betting business Unibet on television. No contradiction there?
Botham made the point that the IPL effectively “…own the best players in the world for two months a year” and are not required to “..pay a penny to the boards who brought these players into the game.”
However, Botham conveniently misses the point as cricket at the professional level has become as detached from the grass roots as football; money now rules the roost and Botham’s employer – Sky – is at the forefront.
Money dominates and the best players have become expensive commodities. It is hard to blame the players as sporting lives can be short and unpredictable; not every one is guaranteed a seat in the Sky commentary box.
Inevitably though, as money pours into the game the leeches and parasites, unconcerned with the beauty or the spirit of the game in question will crawl though the woodwork to seek their cut.
Botham also mentioned the lack of cricket in schools seemingly oblivious to the fact that since Sky gained exclusivity to cricket it has vanished from sight for most youngsters. If you are seeking a better game Sir Ian better start with your employer Mr Murdoch.
Shock! Women Prefer Chubby Blokes!
This has to be true because it was in the Daily Mail. Apparently three out of four women prefer chubby men…I swear I nearly threw my skinny latte at the gym wall and ordered a full fat double chocolate!
The reasons offered in support of Big Mac Man were broadly twofold. Firstly, women with chubby men felt less guilty if they ordered a pudding when out for dinner. I’ve never seen this stop any woman – whatever her shape – resisting a pudding! It’s like asking for a minute’s silence.
The second reason is that they felt more comfortable undressing in front of a chubby bloke. Just turn the light off love or get your man to hide under the duvet…it’s always worked for me!
And you girls keep telling us size does not really matter?
It’s All So Quiet
Over in Rotherham, tin-hats are still in place on the heads of those who failed so catastrophically with regard to the scandal of child abuse. Hiding in his bunker, disowned by everybody by now but still drawing his salary, is the Police & Crime Commissioner.
Next week the Chief Constable of South Yorks and the PCC appear before the Home Affairs Select Committee. As an aside one wonders whether they will share the same car or continue to waste more taxpayers’ money?
Anyone who has watched one of these sessions will realise it is the modern day equivalent of placing someone in the stocks on the village green before hurling rotten fruit. The sanctimonious Keith Vaz, MP, chairs the committee but one look at his record will hardly fill the common man with hope.
MPs fight to take turns to appear indignant and outraged, grilling the victims for the benefit of the cameras and Vaz gets even more airtime. Given they all swim in the same pond expect not a lot.
BBC’s Panorama this week disclosed yet more sickening evidence of cover-ups and inaction by those in place to offer protection to the vulnerable. Interestingly, they also quoted the Pakistani population in Rotherham as around 8% of the total.
Given that that vast majority of this community are innocent and law-abiding, how could the authorities be so fearful of offending on the racism ticket especially when the men concerned represented such a small proportion of the town?
As one Asian woman stated correctly, if these men were abusing white girls then most probably they were doing it at home too.
The Big Man Is Back In Town
Something had been missing from our dressing room for the last few weeks. Namely a fat lad with glasses and a sports bra; Molly was back in town after three weeks AWOL on the sauce and the room was a happier place to be, not least for having someone to take the piss out of all day.
As he hooked the straps of his sports bra, things looked tighter than last we saw him. The absence had not been at any health farm that was for sure.
Not being a conscientious attendee at practice sessions, by the time he came on to bowl it was approaching a month since he last wobbled to the wicket clutching the red ball.
A hearty welcome was offered by the Menston batter as the first four balls were dispatched to the boundary. Something just did not seem quite right. What could have gone wrong with the old Pro’s preparation?
Rumour had it that the Critics had lured Molly up into the dark corners of Critics’ Corner, tempting him with illicit liquors. If the League Management Committee found out about a dope taking dope surely there would be hell to pay?
Skipper Pete was obviously oblivious but as Molly’s next over also got some rough treatment, even Pete suspected – and most likely sniffed – dodgy behaviour.
Redemption came as young Matty snared the offender and Molly was off the hook to redeem his figures and sweat the whisky out. The club’s anti-doping committee meets next week…punishment may be severe.
Slick Sid the Snake Lives On
GQ magazine – a glossed up Beano for posh boys – awarded it’s Philanthropist of the Year to Old Sleazy, Tony Blair.
“I would like to dedicate this award to the people that work with and for my organisations. I feel the pulse of progress beating a little harder.”
said Blair.
Tell that to the mothers of the sons and daughters no longer feeling the pulses of their offspring, lost in Iraq on futile missions based on lies and Blair’s fawning to US President Bush.
This guy simply has no shame. In an age where money talks he is the ultimate and most vile personification of this.
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