“Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.”
John Wayne
In somewhat surreal circumstances I had a recent eye opener – definitely no pun intended – into the magical world of Viagra.
Apparently there are certain medical conditions which allow free issue of the little blue pills. Here the State is very generous as one friend was moved to comment.
“I can have four a month” he said “although I did tell the quack four should see me through the year these days unless she starts celebrating Thanksgiving!”
The conversation moved on to certain side effects which seemed to centre on wives sleeping under lock and key in the bathroom. One reaction can be to bring a deep flush to your cheeks.
“I went bright red like I’d been on a sunbed all day” said another “I looked like I was going to explode…which I was…in a manner of speaking.”
Another unexpected reaction is the permanency of the induced middle-aged erection.
“I swear I could have used it as a punchball!” said one amazed at having had to sleep on his back one night.
One thing to be keenly aware of is taking one just as unexpected houseguests arrive is not advised. Trying to explain that your husband is now locked in the bathroom all day is a tough one for your loved one.
Still if it’s good enough for the “heart-stopping, pants-dropping, love-making, earth-quaking, Viagra-taking…E Street Band” then who are we to wonder?
Onwards and upwards?
Beneath The Waters
A couple of weeks ago our hapless council admitted that grand plans to build four new swimming pools including a flagship city centre development were being shelved.
First trumpeted over three years ago, once again the clowns at City Hall promised something they never had a hope of delivering. Worse still, we are now faced with a lop-sided Plan B that simply makes no sense.
A few years ago our Leeds opened the South Leeds Acquatics centre with an Olympic sized pool at a cost of £16.5m. Once again, here in Bradford we are caught playing catch up.
The council bought the former Britannia Mills site close to the city centre for just over £1m and then spent £212,000 on demolition and design work. Now we own another hole in the ground.
But don’t worry as our new leader offered the following comforting words: “This decision means that the council owns a well-located strategic site…it is planned to use this land as car parking to gain some revenue.”
What do they smoke down there?
She blames austerity as if it has suddenly just materialised rather than simply admitting a paddling-pool mentality for a deep-end project where the Council were way out of their depth.
Plan B involves closing two old pools in outlying areas – Bingley & Queensbury – with the decrepit Richard Dunn sports centre to be sold off for housing. Reprieved is the inner-city Bowling Pool with two new pools now promised.
One makes sense in close proximity to the Richard Dunn site but the other is hugely questionable in the Toller ward. Why would you build a brand new facility within four miles of four existing pools?
Money is tight and unless the Council can provide a detailed cost-benefit analysis to prove the logic of spending millions on a brand new pool in the midst of four existing ones then they should not proceed.
Rather conveniently, I also came across this BBC piece reflecting declining numbers of participants in swimming. Notable too if you scroll down is the incredible North-South divide when it comes to the development of new pools.
As for the original plan to build a new pool in North Bradford (we already have Eccleshill) not a whiff. North Bradford has been consistently ignored by the Council for years bar plastering us with housing developments.
The council have long displayed an ineptitude when it comes to recreation most of which is provided by the voluntary sector who understand local communities without the need for grandstanding major projects.
Finally, given that the Council was so keen to be seen as central to the ridiculous plans to redevelop Bradford Park Avenue cricket ground, now that Yorkshire are struggling to commence work at their Headingley home what chance of this amounting to much?
Caring Britain
Two telling excerpts from the Number Crunching feature in the current edition of Private Eye (1432) as follows:
Page 12 – £369m taxpayer’s money to be spent refurbishing Buckingham Palace / £3.9bn…to be spent refurbishing Houses of Parliament / 40% homes in Britain housing charity Shelter estimates do not reach acceptable living home standards.
Page 17 – 32,110 ‘Affordable Homes’ provided in England in 2015/16 down 52 percent on the previous year / 73,120 Homeless families in temporary accomodation as of June 2016 up 9% on June of the previous year.
Bradford Just Might Be Bouncing Back – Don’t Tell The Council
News here that the Sunbridge Wells complex is due to open shortly bringing with it an imaginative and unique offering, the like the city has been crying out for years.
Take a look here and fingers crossed we finally have reasons to finally go downtown again.
But Maybe Not At Cycling!
Just over a year I wrote about the so-called cycle super-highway connecting Bradford with Leeds. For those suicidal enough to attempt it comes news that leaves can stop cyclists as well as trains.
Mr Ivor Claim is indignant that the there are actually leaves on the ground in November. Clearly, he will also be objecting to ice over the next few months, April showers and hot tarmac in the middle of summer.
If you need cheering up then read this.
It seems that £29m may not be the end of it and, as I have said before, it would have been cheaper to buy a helicopter for the lycra brigade than this utter folly.
Perhaps it’s just as well that the idiot in question was not at The Somme a hundred years ago.
“Sorry, Captain. I can’t go over the top today it’s too slippy!”
Fire!
The Lib Dem Approach To Negotiating
1 – claim to be the party of open democracy.
2 – refuse to accept the will of the people you claim to respect so much because you don’t like losing even though you should be used to it by now (okay so they won one at last!)
3 – offer novel negotiating approach where you let the opposition know exactly what you want and what they can have.
4 – cave in as usual, bring back shit deal and then ask for a second opinion from another 650 people.
5 – vanish from the face of the Earth…hopefully.
London Smog
The beautiful South is under a smog cloud caused by still cool air as far as I understand. So, to break it up I offer you a coachload of councillors from Bradford capable of enough hot air to clean up Beijing.
Have a smog free weekend in the beautiful North!
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