Musings From The Padded Cell

To Patronise

“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”
Winston S. Churchill

And still the so called elite hold this view.

Patronising Bastards

Patronising Bastards – Quentin Letts

This is a fascinating book if ultimately quite depressing, detailing as it does the numerous layers of British society who really control the country. Your vote may get counted but does it really count?

There are so many noses in troughs full of our money it is a wonder the country functions at all.

Letts has an entertaining pop at the layers of government departments, numerous quangos, the arts and loathsome individuals too many to mention. Well worth a read.

The Art Of Spin

One of the reasons we are told the England cricket team got stuffed in the recent Ashes series was the lack of a quality spinner. So perhaps good to see the art of spin is at least alive and well off the field back home.

In this latest puff-piece on the redevelopment of a cricket ground few will have any commercial use for, Mark Arthur, CEO of Yorkshire CCC now tells us some meaningful cricket may return in 2021.

Mark Arthur – CEO YCCC

Remember this master class in spin from 2014? “In 2019…we’re going to have an Ashes Test at Headingley…so there could be an opportunity to take a first-class Yorkshire County Cricket Club match back to Bradford Park Avenue.”

The can has been kicked two more years down the road presumably for someone to determine whether the promised funding can actually be realised.

Despite the English Cricket Board’s (ECB) slavish obsession with political correctness, there is no evidence that spending in excess of £5m on a ground that will at best be used sporadically, makes any sense.

Value for money goes out of the window when boxes need ticking to make those on high feel good. It is not good for the game at either end of the scale.

As I pointed out back in 2014, it is an extremely dumb idea but one that the devotees to political correctness are happy to push.

Save for the two hour white ball slog – cricket’s equivalent of a quickie around the back of the hut – the game has the modern day appeal of smallpox as a mass spectator sport.

Yorkshire is well served by Headingley so why divert games elsewhere, especially given Yorkshire’s gruesome finances – see here.

International games account for almost 30% of income whereas debt levels are eye-watering – see p20 2016 report – albeit most are underwritten by the Graves family. For a broadly break-even business, how they envisage capital payments resuming looks at best hopeful.

As to who will pay for it’s upkeep, again more mystery spin. Bradford Council tell us they have no money though Hapless Hinchcliffe needs votes; Yorkshire have a debt mountain akin to a banana republic and the ECB will not be seen for a dusty wicket once completed.

Bradford Park Avenue 1895

Arthur knows Yorkshire’s finances make it ever harder to compete with new grounds bidding to stage England internationals; losing this would be devastating to the county.

No matter if cash strapped counties like Durham and Yorkshire produce a conveyor belt of England players, others funded by rich men can build new grounds to compete on the international stage.

It does not matter that they appear ambivalent to producing England players, preferring ready made imports to chase domestic trophies.

So Yorkshire must sing to the PC, multi-cultural, gender friendly ECB tune.

If the patronising bastards decree that the future of a game declining year by year is to be based on ethnicity and gender, perhaps this is another reflection of the world we live in.

Bradford Park Avenue in its heyday with cricket and football twinned.

Bradford Park Avenue has no more hope of staging first-class cricket than I do of playing for Yorkshire.

That, of course, they well know.

One Hundred Years Ago

“Failing health forces Sir James Roberts to sell Saltaire Mills and village.” So goes a fascinating tale here with some great names of the Bradford wool trade – see this week’s clips from this excellent archive.

Tales From The Scruffy

The Fishermen

Those patronising old Fishermen have been worried that mentions of their presence at the Sunday quiz often portray them in a bad light.

Keen to dispel rumours that they are three grumpy old men they agreed to pose for a photo shoot though Young Geoffrey’s offer of a naked one was politely turned down.

He even took to dancing a flamboyant jig even though his dreams of getting up close on Young Bet had been dashed by failing to win any chance of a pull-out.

Strictly beckons?

On a quiet night, praise has to go to brave Uncle Andy, laid low by the demon flu but determined to get a good attendance mark in the book, not risking lines and detention.

“It’s the law!” he insisted, having struggled out of his sick bed for a medicinal pint. “When I was in the Fire Brigade we never had a day off for a cold. It was far warmer sleeping at the station!”

“Did I mention…when I was in the fire brigade…”

Patronising Media

A privileged private club meets to display it’s contempt for ordinary people but soothes it’s conscience by approving sending dosh to help the little people. The President’s Club or the House of Lords?

Meanwhile, old boot Kay Burley, Sky presenter since WW2, lambasts equally odious ex-Formula 1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone for arguing that getting rid of so-called grid girls is politically correct nonsense

One for the boys

This from Burley who, so objectionable to the beautification of women, chose to have a facelift. Name me one fat, spotty female Sky presenter and I might not be tempted to think she is a hypocrite.

It’s okay for Burley to tart herself up to keep up with the youngsters but not for young women to elect to earn good money doing something a bit different from working on the checkout or reading an autocue?

I see where this will end; Take Me Out will inevitably have to host an LBGTQ series with poor Paddy surrounded by muscular, hairy blokes in mini skirts.

And Finally – One More Patronising…

EasyJet’s chief executive Johan Lundgren is reducing his salary by £34,000 to match that of his predecessor Carolyn McCall.Mr Lundgren’s starting annual salary was £740,000, while Ms McCall was on £706,000 when she left the budget airline in November.



Here’s the argument for grid girls, not from a wheezy old pervy duffer in a dinner suit but from the horse’s mouth so to speak. {There you go you’ve just compared women to horses now! Ed}

Facebook Post – one of many similar – Hannah James – January 31 at 7:19pm

“Ok, I have had enough of people talking for me so here is what I think regarding the banning of grid girls:

The issue at the moment is there are too many people being offended on behalf of people who are not offended at all!

Firstly, I absolutely LOVE my job. Secondly, I CHOOSE to do this job. Nobody forces me or any other grid girl to do it. Some of us do it full time, some like me do it alongside other work. The idea that grid girls are no more than a pretty face infuriates me; I am about to finish my degree and qualify as a Social Worker, there are grid girls that are lawyers, accountants, models, mums, it varies so much!

We work hard to build up a good reputation and a good relationship with our clients. I work in British Superbikes and Road Racing where it feels like we are one big family; why should I be taken away from that because somebody who has never worked a day in my shoes thinks they know what is best for me?

With regards to the outfits being too sexy and us women being objectified; let me clarify something. I NEVER work a job unless I am happy with the outfit. When I do grid work I am always 100% comfortable with what I wear and I do not feel any more objectified wearing what I do on the grid than I do if I put on a nice dress or some smart jeans to go out. What will be next, will swimwear models be banned because what they are wearing in catalogues is too revealing?

As my friend and fellow grid girl Giorgia Davies said; this has all happened because some girls were treated disrespectfully at an event .. so how about instead of banning the girls to eradicate the problem, we educate men and women that it is NOT ok to disrespect other people!!

My final gripe with all of this, is these so called feminists are giving real feminists a bad name! I am a feminist because I want women to be equal, I don’t want there to be discrimination in the work place if women choose to have babies, and I want women to feel empowered. So to have a ‘feminist’ sit on a talk show saying how she thinks grid girls should be banned, thus meaning a loss of job and income for women is completely contradictory.

Sidenote – men work as promotional models too! But with regards to being on the grid, as the sport is predominantly males, they (usually) prefer to have a female holding their umbrella, although I have seen female riders with male grid guys!

A suggestion was made that women should be given jobs in other areas such as commentating or spannering .. for those of you who don’t know, this already happens!

On a positive note I am so glad to see all of us women affected standing together fighting this.”

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