29 – Eyes on the Prize
When you finish at the bottom of any league, no matter how badly you may feel the roll of the dice went, no matter you did not think you were that bad, it is often said that the league table never lies. So it is fair to say that the humiliation of season 2004 when we finished bottom of Division C under Captain Stoker had taken a long time to wear off. In the intervening years we had probably not played to our full potential, almost entirely due to an inbuilt cautiousness and fear of ever having to go back again to beg for our readmission to the league on a cold winter night; the league know how to make you grovel.
Having taken over the captaincy in 2007, after a two-year patch up job by yours truly, Steve “Shutty” Shuttleworth had gradually built a team in his own style and made one or two seemingly bold decisions along the way. As an example he had jettisoned Rick Slater, our opening bowler, even though we were not overflowing in that department; perhaps there was time yet for a bowling come back? It was a courageous decision in the interests of getting the right team spirit and a collection of unified triers rather than suffering the odd, part-time, prima-donna. Slats had a busier wedding calendar than the Beckhams and suffered the worst hamstrings ever, generally when he was being carted around the field on an annual basis at Woodhouse.
ECB Madness
So with Slats gone and with young lads like Sam Lawrence and Rehan Butt developing slowly, hampered by the namby-pamby ECB Bowling Directives, we started to gel together as a side. We still had to wheel Brent out for a season or two longer to get us through and, undoubtedly, even on one leg he was our best bowler when he played.
The bowling directives mean that young guys can only bowl a very limited number of overs but place no restrictions on forty-plus year olds who can bowl until their arteries burst. They have a place for the elite youngsters as a mode of protection but not for the lads with one or two games a week at best and are another example of the governing body’s complete lack of understanding of grass roots cricket.
Shutty’s “We Will Fight Them On The Beaches” Speech…at Woodhouse
I say it softly but there was a feeling of quiet confidence at the start of the 2009 season. Shutty had made some good signings with our usual inducements of warm water, great teas and changing well away from Barry. The young lads were developing and there might still be life in one or two of the old dogs yet. Shutty was both older and wiser so he did not repeat his glorious inauguration speech made at Woodhouse at the beginning of the 2007 season when he pronounced that there were “22 games and my target is to win 20 of them”. Ambitious to the extent that in the following two seasons we didn’t get remotely close to winning twenty in total.
And yet when I look back to the start of season 2009, which culminated with us becoming champions of the renamed Division 3 for the first time, for all the talent within the dressing room, there was at last an unmistakable belief that we could actually achieve this. That growing confidence, the momentum from convincing early wins plus the ability to bounce back from a couple of early season setbacks at New Rover & home to Olicanians, all combined to enable us to become worthy champions. So here is my personal tribute to those guys who made it happen.
Class of 2009
LEE MARGERISON – probably the most competitive guy in the team who became a father midway through the season and celebrated with an undefeated hundred and plenty. Loves a chunter at the opposition whether he is batting or bowling and has even been known to throw a ball at an opposing batsman’s head to get a bit of attention. At least he broke the partnership that day even if Harry, our scorer, had to put “concussed” in the How Out section.
If his baby son is anywhere near as competitive he will probably be launching rattles from his pram like missiles from a bunker at the other kids by now. Lee’s bowling is useful too as he has a bit of a Golden Arm – which to non-cricketers means he gets wickets with utter tripe – but his stares when some of the tripe disappears out of the ground are priceless. Poor wife Sally must have to go through hell when he gets a bad decision on a Saturday.
DANNY GAUNT – made me wonder on a weekly basis if he was playing a different game as he made batting look ridiculously easy at times. Clearly slips occasionally into catatonic state as his usual mode of dismissal is “Bowled Ted Trundler – Sleeping” but also dropped some howlers that Shutty’s young daughters would have caught, whilst also sleeping. A very good addition to the team that gave us that edge we needed and demonstrated the attitude needed at nets week in week out. The team “fidgeter” as always tinkering with technique and if we had had a team laptop like Team England he would doubtless be scanning videos all afternoon…assuming he could get Barry away from the porn channels.
SAM WADE – I had coached Sam since he was a wide eyed, little lad who just loved to bat and, without doubt, he could go on to much better things if he really wanted to. Laid back to such an extent that sometimes you wonder if the lights really are on in there, we tend to forget that not many of us were perfect when we were his age. Really it’s up to him how good he becomes but it would be criminal to waste such a unique talent. Time will tell but I hope he does not get to his mid thirties thinking if only he had worked harder and really challenged himself to be as good as he could be.
BARRY HAWKSWORTH – the Compo of the team without doubt and the ultimate character. Since he left in 2010 having found the impossible – a woman that could tolerate him – the dressing room has never been the same. Simple approach to life: eat it, drink it and mount it. No more an out and out slogger he developed an obsession with having “not out” after his score; much to the amazement of the opposition as well his as team mates. So many stories but not many better than commencing the worst break dancing demonstration in the world at Illingworth after sending the ball into orbit.
SHUTTY – the Player of the Season 2009 and a reflection of his total commitment to the team. Transformed from chain smoking chubby into honed, toned near-anorexic in recent years and tries like mad to avoid his brother-in-law, Molly, thereby ensuring he does not go back to previous bulk. Grew into the role as skipper as we all do given time and one of the nicest lads you could meet. Deserved the success for all he had put into the team ans still a massive, if not by weight, part of the dressing room.
REHAN BUTT – the quiet lad of the team but cometh the hour cometh Rehan. Took us over the line in the season-defining away game at Olicanians, the big money boys of the division, and in doing so ensured the championship was ours. He bats, bowls and fields with equal enthusiasm. Lost to the club as he pursued work opportunities in London and Dubai but always a welcome back at the Villas.
SAM LAWRENCE – another gentle giant, our opening bowler and potentially as good as there could be in the league going forward. Sam can bat as well and when he is set he can launch it many a mile. Strangely only bowls nasty bouncers at his ageing coach which, considering I chauffeur him all over the place, is probably a delayed reaction to my Ipod choices.
ADAM SUTCLIFFE – the last of our quartet of “youngsters” and every bit as quiet as the other three. Bowled what you would call a heavy ball although opportunities were restricted in 2009, largely due to the poor quality of some of the opposition. Left in 2012 to go back to original club but again, always welcome back.
CHRIS SPIVEY – where do I begin; here is a whole book here? Well, in fairness, let me start by suggesting that Chris can be a complex character, the one most of all in the dressing room that needs a hug and a cuddle and making sure he gets home safe at the end of the night. He joined us for his first spell in my second stint as skipper.
A fine bowler on his day and eighty plus wickets are conclusive proof of that you may contrast him with Mick Adams from twenty years previous as Mick was equally obsessive with his figures. Has been known to have the odd tantrum, shall we say, mainly on field and generally ending in his car. Tends to react to the ball not swinging a bit like Barry if we’ve run out of lager.
STEVE “RYLO” RYDER – Another slow bowler in the Villas mould: small, fat, useless with the bat and never turned a ball in his life. Our voice of reason in the dressing room, the Wise Old Sage of the team. Hung up his boots recently but still supports the club and never shy to dip into his pocket to help junior cricket. Sport is brilliant for breaking down barriers as before he joined us I had an entirely different opinion from when he left. Again, a hole in the dressing room and we have missed his non-spinning varieties.
HARRY RYECROFT – whilst there were some twenty or so players that appeared over the season and most of us accept that Joe Lawrence’s five appearances really won us the league mostly by virtue of having a posh “sledger” at gully even if he could not catch – our Twelfth Man for many a year has been Harry, our scorer and Team motivational speaker on many an occasion.
Having honed his speech making skills fighting at Rourke’s Drift and surviving the Zulus only to get the reward of looking after Barry for a decade a century or so later, Harry has been with us through thick and thin … mostly thin. A legend in the dressing room Harry is famous for his never changing motivational speech whenever we are up against it again. South Africa employ Jeremy Snape as their Sports Psychologist, we have Harry who will simply implore us to “Just go fook ‘em.”. Who needs Jeremy Snape on a central contract when you can have this quality on the doorstep?
Simply put, Saturdays are just not the same without Harry who is now in semi retirement getting pissed in Critics’ Corner every fortnight. Slowly, slowly turning into a critic; it can only be the cheap whisky.
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