“What happened?”
A short social history of Bradford.
The BBC’s new series Bradford on Duty states: From the frontline workers on the streets to the leaders making the big decisions…with the people dedicated to making their city a better place.
Episode one starts with chickens running loose on the streets and two middle aged female narcissists – Chief Head in Clouds and her Call Centre Manager – filmed against an arty black backdrop. Head in Clouds bemoans the city’s poverty seemingly unconcerned that she rakes in near £250k a year.
As they struggle for anything meaningful to say the real action begins. The producer seeks out dark satanic mills to explain the city’s terrible air pollution except there are few that have not burnt down already or simply shut.
At last a chimney belching “smoke” is found – those capitalists b*st*rds we all scream – albeit the narrator – probably a tree hugging vegan – fails to tell the viewer this is steam from an animal rendering plant. The peasants will soon have to pay to drive into this ghost town once the clean air tax begins.
Fact And Fiction
A hard-working local nurse is expected to provide a social commentary – “that’s where the bad air is” – set up by the producers to spew rubbish, unlike the multi-million pound plant. The fact that the main roads into the centre are clogged artificially by clueless local politicians reducing the lanes from three to two for unused cycle lanes is not mentioned.
The Chief Executive of the local NHS Foundation offers a variety of “might be” factors for bad air quality – cue more shots of the meat plant. The relationship with the truth here is almost Putin-like. You might expect more from someone in her position but all we get is the usual stuff.
A Bradford Council communication states life expectancy varies ten years from the most affluent to most deprived areas but this could apply to any city in the UK. It is desperate begging bowl stuff from those devoid of ideas to attract real investment.
High Speed To Where?
Meanwhile the Call Centre Manager slams the government’s decision not to blow billions on a new train station somewhere on the ring road – we already have two; then we see the real reason. Chief Head in Clouds has to take two trains a day to reach her place of “work”; surely that is just not fair? How can one keep one’s latte warm?
The Call Centre Manager bemoans the withdrawal of the Covid uplift in Universal Credit claiming it has cost her people £67m a year which she would love to provide. She fails to note that this was an emergency uplift not a lifelong drip and that she is currently wasting over £20m a year on agency staff to run a failed childrens’ service.
Cowboy Town
If this is reality television then it seems lost on the two main characters. Fortunately, the real action begins with a tongue in cheek soundtrack of cowboy music. Cue some cultural city centre action – yee ha!
The crew find a resident in one of the numerous “luxury” apartments about to throw his television out of the window. Perhaps he had just seen a trailer for this show?
A senior policeman then almost confesses that if you actually live in one of the better bits of the district, your chances of police protection are somewhat limited, probably because people are throwing tvs out of luxury city centre bijou apartments. This is the UK City of Culture 2025.
Of course we had snippets of the usual Bradford stuff including cannabis farms to compare with Ukranian wheat production, car-crashes and our nightly firework displays.
I did wonder just what hell holes Durham, Southampton and Wrexham – the three cities Bradford beat to win this accolade – must be like.
Me, Me, Me
The first episode draws to a close with the two narcissists in a meeting with one of those bland council-types with ridiculously vague titles to justify their existence.
This is toe-curling, stage-managed stuff and yet the sweetest irony of all is that it will be lost on the two main players. So consumed by their own vanities, they fail to see how utterly stupid they both come across. And how utterly bereft of any real solutions.
Craig Michael Normington says
That hinchcliffe woman shouldn’t be allowed to run a bath…never mind a city….the woman is devoid of any sense of reality…maybe she should visit Alice in wonderland…at least they know what they’re doing…
James says
Wonderful absolutely wonderful to hear a true spokesperson for this city which is absolutely destroyed by certain factors which are out of control and beyond repair
YESUS MARLEY says
WATCHING IT IS AS BAD AS WATCHING ENGLAND HUNGARY MINUTES AND TIME I WILL NEVER GET BACK DISILLUSIONED OUT OV TOUCH CLOWNCILLORS ABSOLUTE CROCK OV SHITE