“I had the talent for the fifth division and the mind for the Bundesliga.”
Jurgen Klopp
Only in Bradford could they get a building’s height wrong by 3.5m and dismiss it as a triviality. Only here are planning regulations tossed around like candy.
A contender for the city’s ugliest building, the new wedding venue on Dick Lane has to be seen to be believed. On first sight I assumed it was being built to house one of BA’s now redundant 747 fleet.
But, it is a wedding venue and any prospective fathers of brides will be bricking it having to cough up for a venue the size of an aircraft hanger.
The T&A article has some golden quotes.
Retrospective plans for a new wedding venue…have been approved despite the building being around 3.5 metres taller…the man behind the 800 capacity function hall…told councillors it was down to bad advice from architects and contractors…
So that’s okay then, blame a blind architect and a contractor reading the plans upside down? That should be easy for our dopey council to sign off.
One councillor asked whether any penalties could be meted out…but planning officer Malcolm Joy told the virtual panel that all these conditions had now been discharged…another asked about sanctions…the meeting heard that Councils could not charge extra for retrospective applications due to national legislation.
…the applicant still intended to include a ban on fireworks on any contracts drawn up with customers. Anyone caught setting of fireworks despite the warning would lose their deposit, the applicant added.
At this point I had to change my shorts. Only in Bradford do we endure this kind of backwardness.
My Ding-A-Ling
Having finally mastered the art of changing a bike tyre and using my pump, I felt emboldened to strike out. Not willing to risk being put in a wooden box with a VW badge stuck in my arse, I opted for the canal to Skipton.
Once on the open towpath, the range of responses you get simply trying to advise people of your presence is quite staggering, a reflection of our ignorant society.
There will always be the Go Lightly family to circumvent, sixty plus stone of blubber in brand new Sports Direct tracksuits. I rang my ding-a-ling and there was a grudging shift of mass, eyes not deviating off their mobile phones, searching for the canalside Big Mac.
Then there are those who clearly think it a modern day outrage that people cycle on a canal path. These are best greeted with a strong finger.
As I crawled towards Skipton, sweaty, muddied and vowing to check the mileage before my next trip, I came across a young girl in the middle of the towpath. I duly dinged my ding-a-ling.
The mother, a pasty, poky faced thing attached to a phone as usual, spun around.
“Wot’s your problem? Ringing it three times, eh?” She scowled through thin little teeth, lips curled up menacingly. I duly slowed down – not difficult a mile from Skipton blowing out of my arse – passing the little girl, cruelly seeded with thin face’s gene pool.
She was still giving me the glare as I tried a polite smile, eventually giving in to temptation and some stronger advice. What is wrong with people?
Quote of the Week
BBC Breakfast host Naga Munchetty defended the licence fee (YP – 22/7) claiming the BBC keeps us “informed, educated and entertained.” There speaks arrogance from on high.
The Big Issue
It’s often claimed by local politicians that Bradford has the youngest population in the UK. So it will come as no surprise that the pandemic, so brutal on the young, is having a dramatic effect here.
A BBC story highlighted Liverpool, with its reliance on tourism as the worst affected area, so far as the impact on young people. But, a look at the league table sees two constituencies in Bradford in the top ten.
Before the usual crowing from across the border starts, Leeds East is also there. There are no quick fixes; the truth is that Bradford has not been able to attract high-quality, well-paid jobs for decades.
Of course there are great businesses here, just not enough. We look poor by comparison with the likes of Leeds and Manchester, unable to shake off an undeniably problematic external image.
If we cannot offer futures for our young, in time the best of those will go.
Footnote
Coincidentally, birth rates for England and Wales showed a drop in 2019 from 1.7 to 1.65 children per woman. Bradford was eight highest at 2.08.
Bradford Live
Perhaps the most exciting development in our city centre for years, the redevelopment of the old Odeon cinema is now scheduled for a 2022 opening. It has the potential to be a game changer if modest be comparison with other city centre venues.
Hobson’s Choice they call it.
And Finally
“Living alone could be a bigger risk for dementia than physical inactivity, diabetes and obesity” so claimed research published in the YP this week. If you are over 55 (!) then you are 30% more likely to end up in a plastic high chair watching Countdown.
On that note, time for the pub…whilst I still can.
Michael T Leahy says
My wife & I gave up on walking on the canal towpaths years ago because of cyclists, that’s even before the present increase of “ignorant society “cyclists caused by covid.
Even walking over the footbridge from Roberts Park to Saltaire or vv you risk life & limb as cyclists refuse to dismount & walk across.
I have requested Bfd Council make the signs bigger & in the style of “ CYCLISTS DISMOUNT “ but to no avail.
Steve says
Michael as a canal side cyclist, panting jogger and walker it is simply a matter of common courtesy on the part of us all