“We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.”
Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
Never having been much of a teccy, somehow I have managed to cling onto the coat tails of most new “life-changing” gadgets, albeit catching up just as they too become obsolete in the face of the next great thing.
As the sun beat down I hooked up my 2007 Bose sound dock to my equally infirm iPod, truly the greatest invention of mankind. Not long ago you used to be able to “burn” a CD – I still love these by the way even if I buy one a year at best – onto this little gem.
No more trying to press down the play and record buttons hoping the DJ would shut up on cue.
Now it seems the grasping music and tech companies have stopped dinosaurs like me from enjoying the music they have actually paid to listen to. Look closely at most laptops and there isn’t even a slot for the CD.
I was discussing this with my tech guru Five Pints who explained that I now have to stream and to do this I have to cough up a monthly fee. Had he explained the concept we would have ended mightily steaming if not streaming.
“So I have to pay to listen to the music I’ve already bought?” I asked.
“Yes but then you get access to thousands of tracks!” said a patient – and younger – Five Pints aided and abetted in his grooviness by two daughters.
“But I don’t want to listen to thousands of other shite tracks just the bits I like!” I protested sensing defeat already and yearning for the days of cassettes and the Sony Walkman.
Why have they made life so hard other than to empty our pockets even more? Why can’t me and my iPod live happily ever after?
The White Man’s Dirty Secret
Yet another damning child sexual exploitation report, this one from Telford, was out this week. Like a rotten panto the cast was the same with a desperate bunch of councillors, politicians and professional police careerists all willfully useless.
We all know the villains but be careful if you mention them because we don’t want to upset sensibilities do we? Especially if votes depend on it; once again this was a Labour-controlled council as in Bradford, Rochdale, Rotherham and probably many more.
I wonder in the darkest corners of the night if any of these spineless, unprincipled and cowardly scumbags ever spare a thought for the innocent lives they have helped wreck?
Finally, as Telford completes its own review, still silence in Bradford.
Soreen
Lovers of Soreen Malt Loaf must have detected a change in the consistency of this well-loved treat. Somehow, it has lost its squidgeiness – that’s the word! Now the middle just falls apart.
It can only be for the sake of a few pence. Come on Soreen, Britain needs you in these grim times of darkness.
The Grey, The Bland and The Unheard Of
Defiant to the end, unable to see the game was up, Boris departed the Commons last Wednesday like a naughty schoolboy with his shirt hanging out of his trousers. That said, Headmaster-in-waiting, Sir Keir had hardly landed a blow with his ruler.
It reminded me of Ali versus Foreman way back when Ali played rope-a-dope to win against huge odds. Only this time Boris had little to throw back either.
The list of candidates has now been whittled down but if you could have named name all eight in the picture then very well done.
Watching a snippet of GB News last night the shouty stand-in for the absent shouty Nigel Farage gleefully played a clip of an endorsee of favourite Rishi Sunak.
And who might be offering their support; none other than the lift groper, ex-Health Secretary Matt Hancock. How ironic that Boris’s demise was sealed by Pincher the Groper as his once-loyal right-hand man now turns to the disgraced Mr Hancock.
Once We Built Ships
This is from the BBC. The UK economy rebounded in May after shrinking in April and March, official figures show. Growth in the construction industry and a large rise in GP appointments helped to boost the economy, the ONS said.
So queueing for a sick note boosts the economy…?
Oven ready for Old/New Labour I would say.
Multi-tasking
This week at the gym I did the Goddess position in yoga followed the day after by Booty Blast & Abs.
Another good reason my Mum does not read this.
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