“The minute you start thinking you’re somebody that’s it, it’s over. We’re just average, very normal people getting on with things.”
Amanda Owen, The Yorkshire Shepherdess.
In the same week the BBC started writing to pensioners to ask them to prove their entitlement to a free television licence, some advice for the bedroom.
Desperate to prove its worth as a public service broadcaster, the BBC offered the following guidance: Sex and coronavirus: How to have it safely.
The Terrence Higgins Trust has published advice suggesting people avoid kissing, wear a face covering and choose positions that aren’t face-to-face during sex. All the things your average MP might be found doing by The News of the World in olden times.
The best sexual partner during the pandemic is yourself or someone you live with… Masturbation, using sex toys or participating in phone or online sex are recommended… The study makes no reference to chickens, favoured by one Bradford household recently though there is no mention of the lockdown position.
If you think I made that one up – see here. The report goes on.
That’s not to say sex is off the table, but it should ideally be with people who are part of your household. Presumably, on the table is still an option so long as you wear a mask and its doggy style.
Devolution
As West Yorkshire lurches towards having another failed politician imposed on us as the new Mayor in 2021, now North Yorkshire are at it.
But how will they get anything done in North Yorkshire when they are proposing a Council with 144 councillors? Since the crash of 2008, the number of local councillors in Bradford has remained unchanged.
What evidence is there that the majority serve any purpose at all? If you take the view that cream always rises to the top, the bottle is rancid. It remains a gravy train for under achievers clung to a party mast.
Devolution will change nothing.
A Weird World
Hats off now to the BBC for the compelling Once Upon a Time in Iraq. Last weekend the Yorkshire Post’s Opinion Page carried a piece by regular Tom Richmond, claiming Tony Blair should be entrusted with Education, given the fumblings of the current Minister.
What a good start in life for kids to be taught by a serial liar who’s smooching up to US President Bush cost countless innocent lives.
Fortunately, my night ended with the return of The Yorkshire Vet. As the credits rolled, romance was in the air as two llamas – observing doggy style – got cracking. Priceless stuff!
Heads In Sand
With the Government throwing money around like fairy dust, it seems that the One City Park office development will be going ahead. There are numerous reasons why this should not, above all the uncertainty as to how the office will most likely change in the future.
There is no evidence of need. Bradford is awash with empty office space and much is being converted to bedsits that will not assist any level of economic development. We are being turned into a mini Calais.
The most compelling reason this glass carbuncle should never see the light of day is that we are not Leeds. We should be trying to come up with a different offering.
The completion of Bradford Live will enable the city to offer three entertainment venues in close proximity. As the main footfall in the city centre is now controlled by the Broadway centre, the ludicrous £22m food market would be better situated here.
Just consider just who will shop in the new foodmarket? There is just not the spending power nor footfall for where it is proposed, indeed it is debatable the spending power is there at all.
Situating it adjacent to the three main live venues would enable a much wider type of business to occupy it and a more flexible usage.
At the very least why not create a green space in the city centre; at least we can hide the winos and druggies.
As if to show the paucity of ideas, Hapless, Comical and the rest will plough on. It is a vanity project paid for by our money that will stand as a legacy to their incompetence.
Devolution For Shipley
The most commented on article in the T&A for some weeks was written by local MP Philip Davies arguing to breakaway from Bradford Council.
Backed by fellow Tory MP Robbie Moore, whose Keighley constituency takes in Ilkley, they make a compelling case even if driven largely by self-interest. Bradford Council cannot be surprised; if they are then they are dafter than I thought.
Although I have sympathy for the argument, cherry picking the best bits of the district is not the answer. How about Idle and Thackley into Leeds? Davies and Moore should channel their energies on exposing the ineptitude of Bradford Council on all levels.
Simply stripping out the best bits would only serve to create ghettos in large parts of the city, something a progressive society should not wish for.
Breaking News!
Sky News slotted in a ten minute interview with a Sleep Physiologist the other day. The topic was how to sleep when it is hot. The ground breaking advice included…opening a window.
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