“Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you.”
Roy T. Bennett
Bradford has some beautiful and ancient woodland areas. Indeed, the district as a whole is roughly two-thirds rural, a selling point rarely emphasised by the dunderheads at City Hall.
Sadly, an ever-increasing threat is man’s greed and ignorance. Aided by their remoteness, brainless idiots continue to use these areas as tipping grounds.
The Council’s approach is to decry this but offer nothing new. Impossible to police – fines are not a deterrent – there is no new thinking.
However, there is a solution worth trialling – make Council tips free to all. This would not eradicate the issue, but it cannot harm.
Meanwhile, one man’s loss is another’s gain.
Walking through the ancient Black Carr Woods between Pudsey and Tong/Tyersal, I came across some horticultural debris. Several good quality vegetable growbags, used in this instance for something more potent than Maris Piper, lay in the verge.
Not one to dismiss a bargain, I shamelessly emptied all four and continued on, passing numerous walkers who clearly mistook me for a prudent local cannabis farmer. My cucumbers will have a kick this summer.
The only problem was the drive home. How would I explain the empty bags in my boot if Plod detained me? Would I pick up a tail of VW Golfs alerted by the smell, enough to drive a sniffer dog into a tailspin?
I made it home and washed them as quickly as I could, hanging them on the line to worried looks from next door.
Footnote
By chance this article was being posted around the same time. I exchanged emails with the local councillors who clearly are in denial if they think the threat of fines is having any effect here. So far as the most vociferous of the three, he lives in Haworth so will really have his finger on the pulse some 13 miles away.
Down At The Asylum
Alerted to the first meeting of Bradford Council’s Executive on video link, with nothing else to do, I took a look. Having endured many lengthy committee meetings, the similarities were incredible; well meaning idiots continue to thrive.
Hosted by Hapless, it was two hours long with the first hour focused on the Bradford Economic Recovery Plan presented by Professor Zahir Irani, Deputy-Vice-Chancellor, Bradford University.
His bit ended with pats on the back all round and another gigantic document to find a dusty corner of a Council office alongside past vintage classics such as Bradford’s Bouncing Back, if you are old enough to remember that.
If you wondered how Bradford is in such a state take a look here – what else have you got to do this weekend? It can be summed up as follows:
1 – we are in the shit
2 – this plan sounds nice
3 – let’s blame Covid
4 – give us more money
Watch the pointless, toe-curling “contributions” from the inner circle of Comical Alex, Ferriby and Khan plus a special guest spot from the CEO. There is also a Cllr Jabar on there too but he’s not one for jabbering much.
Comical looks like he has slept in and trying to catch up on Lorraine. Asked to comment on the presentation, which appears to be based on thousands of new jobs to fit light bulbs, our regeneration guru says “‘er yeah i’ve ‘ad some thoughts!”
Last one out turn out the lights.
Life According To Aldi
It was an admittedly slow day, so I picked up the Aldi catalogue. A look though it is a revealing exercise in how the marketeers attempt to empty our pockets.
There were nine pages of fitness equipment, most of which will doubtless quickly find a dark corner of a garage before heading – hopefully – to be tipped legally.
If you are tempted, far better to try a gym where you will know just as quickly if exercise is for you and far cheaper to cancel if it isn’t.
The sales drive continued with nutritional products and weighing scales on the same page. For £1.99 they offer a PhD Smart Bar probably with the nutritional value of sucking your toenails.
PhD Smart Plant Protein Powder is also available for £9.99; all that was missing was a pack of loo rolls.
Inevitably, we come to the Slim Well range of meals all £1.99 a pop and so loaded with salt enough to suggest a bag of crisps would be just as good. Six pages of vegan offers followed – more loo roll please – before the final pages with…real vegetables.
Here is the irony. For 30p more than the cost of a Slim Well meal you can purchase six different vegetables offering at least ten times the quantity. Get my drift?
On my way out I spotted a future offering – a Java Salt bedside lamp at £8.99. No wonder the tips are busy.
Stumped By The R Word
I’ve not commented upon the game of cricket since I left it but cannot help find it ironic that both the English Cricket Board and Yorkshire County Cricket Club find themselves the subject of lawsuits alleging racism.
Neither are culpable of outright racism, both pursuing policies in my long experience that positively discriminated in favour of ethnic minorities. What they and the game in general is cursed with – and what will lead to its demise as a mass participation sport – is elitism.
Decades of ignoring the state school sector and of becoming a sport only those with deep pockets could prosper are coming home to roost.
“Never mind old boy, pass me my gin!”
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