“Poor man want to be rich, Rich man want to be king, And a king ain’t satisfied, ‘Til he rules everything”
Bruce Springsteen – Badlands
Bit of a seasonal rant coming up; get your tin hats on.
All That Glitters Is Not Gold
BBC’s Look North this week featured Bradford’s Broadway shopping centre one year on from opening but typically, this was not a good news story.
Predictably the lure of some decent shops after a decade with almost nothing has left other parts of the city previously struggling now on their knees.
This was patently obvious to most for years unless you were a councillor blinded by the Broadway lights; strategy what strategy?
So they wheeled out our new leader, Cllr Hinchcliffe, for her take on this as the interviewer asked what the city’s USP could be to reverse this.
With the twinkling lights of the Alhambra theatre behind her about to host the West End version of Mary Poppins, she chose to blurt on about our young and growing population.
The interviewer nudged her helpfully about the upcoming opening of the unique Sunbridge Wells to no avail. A high class development of bars and restaurants, surely something to crow about?
This being close to pantomime season I felt like screaming at the screen “Its behind you!”
Next door to the Alhambra sits the Odeon it’s fate still in the balance, the chance to rejuvenate the city’s entertainment and take it to another level woefully undervalued by our lame duck council.
If the city can attract people in with high quality offerings at the Alhambra and it possesses this vibrant young population she claims, surely an entertainments venue aimed at that market would be a winner too?
Still, as our leader cheerfully reminded us we’ve got the Christmas lights switch on soon.
Sorted then…come all ye faithful…train to Leeds!
Badlands Indeed
There is a well highlighted curse across our city at the moment, that of dangerous and mindless driving perpetrated by halfwits oblivious to the carnage they risk inflicting each and every day often upon innocents.
Recently I watched the return of the BBC show Traffic Cops.
As the cops charged around Newcastle, aided by automatic number recognition systems, super-charged cars and the police helicopter, it struck me that tracking down the majority of Bradford’s would-be Lewis Hamiltons is a far simpler process.
1 – pick an obvious location. Helpfully these are published regularly in the local rag.
2 – await screech of tyres announcing arrival of young driver in impossibly expensive car unlikely to be funded from the proceeds of an honest day’s work.
The pattern is depressingly familiar with kids barely educated enough to control a skateboard nor competent enough to drive a tuk-tuk, charging at breathtaking speeds around congested urban streets in high-powered killing machines.
And the fashionable chariot of fire appears these days to be a black VW Golf with tinted windows and an exhaust like a donkey’s…you get my point.
You can spot them a mile off, sat low suggesting there are no seats, all wide-eyed and bouncing heads, mobiles fixed to ears (affluent as they appear they can’t afford Bluetooth) poor descendants of the Ant Hill Mob.
The police have stretched resources but they must know where to find these people so hammer them hard before they cause irreparable damage to yet more innocents.
While You Were Sleeping
Recently I’ve been waking in the middle of the night with a consistent pattern developing of three to fours hours sleep followed by eyes open and then falling back almost when it’s time to get up.
I’d put it down to the fast pace of life but as I was sat in the gym the other day taking a moment with the papers I came across an article by a Dr Michael Mosley.
Having been through the same sleep pattern himself and tried every cure under the sun bar drinking with Big Al at The Scruffy, Dr Mosley had discovered the medical name for this condition: biphasic or segmented sleep.
In pre-industrial times this was how most people slept – suddenly I had found a cause and effect – sleeping for a short time after sunset before awakening for a brief period and then going back for a second sleep.
He also uncovered evidence that “the best time for sex is after the first sleep”– really?
Additionally a “study by the Sleep Council (where do I apply?) found seventy percent of British adults reported getting seven or fewer hours of sleep a night” which can lead to a myriad of health issues.
The way to tell if you are getting enough sleep is the Sleep Onset Latency Test on which there are numerous articles to…well…make you fall asleep.
To test yourself you lie down in a darkened room in the middle of the afternoon – I call this a siesta – with a spoon in your hand over-hanging the bed.
Placing a metal tray on the floor under the spoon, once you have fallen asleep, the effect of the sudden noise of the released spoon crashing down on the tray presumably gives you a heart attack meaning you sleep forever and are cured!
The alternative is to ignore the spoon and simply set an alarm – or don’t which is far more fun – to test if you are getting enough sleep. Depending on how quickly you nod off determines whether you are sleep deprived or not.
There is no cure for biphasic sleep unless you want to down enough pills to shake like a rattlesnake so the Dr offers several things you can do to wile away the hours, that is if you either sleep alone or the wife tells you to “put that somewhere else!”
A glass of milk is good for you as is reading or music. Some people meditate (what?) or do yoga with friends; some even wander around town at three in the morning. Perhaps Michael might start opening The Scruffy?
I shall be conducting my own in-depth study over the next few months which I believe hedgehogs call hibernation.
Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?
As Home Secretary Amber Rudd stood up in the Commons to announce yet another Establishment cover-up few should really have been surprised. Citing the time-lag, likely costs and several other lame excuses, the hapless Rudd blustered away as only a the modern day politician can when trying to avoid the truth.
To try to protect the sullied reputations of those responsible for this clear cover-up is shameful; to not offer any alternatives than a full judicial inquiry to mitigate cost concerns is lame too.
No crimes were committed, no lives were lost as she insisted so why not a full publication and disclosure of all documents from the time? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?
And a full disclosure should involve both parties because the NUM (National Union of Mineworkers) have no hold on the moral high ground here. It was normal people and their communities that were devastated thirty plus years ago not Arthur Scargill and his cronies.
Footnote
In an extraordinary display of contempt for the public this week the disgraced chaser of Eastern European rent-boys – Keith Vaz MP – was elected to Parliament’s Justice Committee.
In a sickening exchange of horse trading, Tory Whips enabled this appointment in return for their Labour counter-parts not blocking several of their nominees.
Supporting the sleazy Vaz’s appointment were no less than Culture Secretary Karen Bradley, Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt and dear old “no crimes” Amber.
On both sides of the house there really are people with neither backbone nor morality. No matter their privileged backgrounds and cosy Westminster existences, their contempt for normal people renders them ignorant to the extreme.
Footnote Two
I apologise for the overdose of rants this week but I am blaming SAD (Seasonally Affected Disorder) when darkness comes to town. There are a couple of available remedies I am told, one of which is to buy a special lamp.
Many are wake-up lamps and one even offers a selection of alarm noises which means the sound of birds, frogs or lapping waves can wake you if that’s your thing. If I thought there was a frog in my bed calm I would not be!
The alternative is to seek light and redemption at a place of worship with a flock of believers; so I am off to The Scruffy to do so.
Have a great weekend all!
Keith morritt says
Hi steve,
Good rant on Bradford and your pollies.
Some of our Aussie pollies are worthy of your attention.
Regards Keith.
Steve says
Topical as was chatting to a mate of mine from Melbourne who confirms you have PC a lot worse in Oz. Then again I saw a documentary on Nauru…you guys do not mess about over there.