“It was not curiosity that killed the goose who laid the golden egg, but an insatiable greed that devoured common sense.”
E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly,
This week’s episode of C5’s Police Interceptors had PC Rowe, newly elected Cultural Attache for Bradford, offering yet more insight into Hapless Hinchcliffe’s Happy Valley. He said Bradford was “the kind of place where cars you never expect to see in a lifetime are a daily occurrence.”
To offer clarity he suggested a “different set of rules” applied mainly, one suspects, around the principles of taxation, pharmaceuticals and the Highway Code. Just like Europe soon.
Later in the week our hopeless Council came up with this…honestly they did.
“The Council is considering introducing a Public Spaces Protection Order (PSPO) for the whole of the Bradford Metropolitan District (the district). The Order is being considered to address identified issues around anti-social use of various types of motor vehicles. The Council wants your views and feedback on the draft PSPO before it considers whether or not to make a final Order.”
Can you imagine the responses posted – see here. If ever they wanted to demonstrate how out of touch they are?
The Greatest Show?
When the Labour Government announced that London would be bidding for the 2012 Olympic Games in 2003, I was a dissenting voice culminating in a piece I wrote for The Yorkshire Post – see here.
It seems that the penny has dropped so far as the attraction of hosting the Games given the staggering costs associated with what has become state sponsored one-upmanship.
A BBC article stated: The cost of the 2014 Winter Games in Russia’s Sochi was put at $51bn – the most expensive in history. The Beijing Summer Olympics in 2008 cost $40bn.
London was initially projected at under £3bn and eventually cost three times that according to Government figures. Cities worldwide are demanding better ways to spend valuable resources than a party for the in-crowd. Decent municipal sports facilities would be a starter.
Blue Planet Idle
On a quiet Monday afternoon, I hunkered down in my bunker, wondering where global warming had vanished. I was suffering a spell of writer’s block as deadline day approached.
I needed some stimulation, perhaps the news? Then I realised I could not stomach yet more Brexit shite especially via the stream of whiny, self-important hacks like the pofaced Laura Kuenssberg. Maybe a crossword or Sudoko; and then I was rescued by my water bill!
How is it, with the stuff pouring out of the sky, I cough up around £300 a year, an amount broadly in line with the cricket club to offer comparison? I resolved to refresh my water saving techniques – it was that kind of afternoon – and offer a few below for consideration.
Tip 1 – always use somebody else’s. This is where gyms come in handy even if you may have to offer the appearance of actually training. Try not to sweat too much to enable kit to be recycled the day after and reduce washing.
Tip 2 – convince partner to shower with you. In the male’s case this will avert the female’s obsession with running a nightly bath where she will spend less than the time it takes to boil a kettle before coming down freezing, moaning about wet hair and blasting the heating up to 40C.
Tip 3 – with partner fully engaged in co-showering, gently introduce them to your habit of peeing in the shower. Should they instantly fall to their knees moaning “over me baby!” resolve to change partner or go back to showering alone.
Tip 4 – convince partner that a kettle does not need filling to the brim for a cuppa by requesting they try lifting one-armed before switching on and draining National Grid.
Greed Britain
From the BBC website on the same day.
The UK’s best-paid boss, co-founder of online gambling firm Bet365 Denise Coates, has received another bumper pay rise….rising to £265m including dividends – see here. Meanwhile…
The number of children classed as having a gambling problem has quadrupled to more than 50,000 in just two years…study suggests that 450,000 children aged 11 to 16 bet regularly, more than those who have taken drugs, smoked or drunk alcohol.
Spivs & Speculators
Vultures have been seen on Idle Moor viewing more feeding grounds and easy pickings – see here – watch this space.
Quotes Of The Week
Some comedy gold from the local rag’s readers’ comments.
Sally Way – the police are searching for a fat man with a small penis masturbating in York and now a taxi driver pooing in a field.
Without Prejudice – authorities will have their hands full with these investigations.
Have a great weekend…Trumpit out December 7th…book early!
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