“If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.”
Barack Obama
Equally, if you’re relying on your mate who’s as lost as you are, blind determination, head down and best foot forward will eventually get you to the pub too.
I had those inescapable Monday morning blues; back to the grind – the rat race – as I arrived for Yoga. Wind back a week and the beauty of Roseberry Topping was awaiting as we hauled heavy bags onto our backs.
Now I jostled for a space on the floor as the Golden Girls wriggled about like leathery old seals on a cold east coast beach.
Drowning in a cacophony of sound – the seagulls had been quieter – my eyes closed as I tried to recall the feel of the early morning sun and the fresh breeze.
As the session came to an end at least there was the five minute relaxation; Yoga practioners describe this bit as savasana which means “corpse pose”. There were a few in the room not far off.
Apparently, this resets your nervous system after physical practice; we should try this next year before the first pint each evening. All I could hear was old Ambre Solaire Cath.
“Look Trish…he’s bloody dead…throw a shroud over ‘im!” She jabbed me in the ribs as Trish adjusted her hearing aid.
I closed my eyes and dreamt of Roseberry Topping in the distance; even a day listening to Big Al farting and groaning felt better by comparison.
Addiction
Several stories on the national news this week caught my attention. News that the NHS is setting up addiction clinics for those addicted to computer games is pitiful. I’ll resist the temptation to drone on about when I were a lad but – fact – we were fitter, healthier and, I daresay, happier.
Across the pond came more news about E-cig related deaths. It has always struck me that e-gigs were a ticking time bomb, after all, people are only swapping inhaling one dodgy chemical substance for another? And trusting a large corporation that they will be okay.
Finally, kids are getting fatter – no sh*t – and the departing Chief Medical Officer recommends we ban them from eating on buses! Who remembers the promises of a legacy from London 2012?
Enjoy your fat pension love.
The Blitz
There are people in my hometown who must be nostalgic for the war years. This is the only rationale explanation that can explain the year-round assault on our senses by midnight fireworks.
The alternative and more probable explanation is that these people are ignorant, selfish and woefully thick as planks, as evidenced by spending fortunes on puffs of smoke.
So how likely is it that a ban on these activities – which are already against the law (see Fireworks Act 2003) – proposed by local Cllr Sunderland will have any effect? The answer is diddly squat; if one rule is impotent, adding more will serve no purpose.
Granted I am no fan of the Loony Democrat Party but to also call for quiet fireworks misses the point; we could cope with the noise as it once was, limited to one or two nights a year but this is not about Bonfire Night.
And try selling quiet fireworks to kids who will be off back to the X-Box before the first rocket has landed. The lack of respect for the law evidenced here is just another example of the F*** you society we have.
Reading the article it struck me that a lot of agencies had a lot to say but little to offer bar empty threats. Stop posturing and simply enforce the law.
Idiot Department
I had an equipment malfunction last week; one of the clips on my new rucksack had stuck, limiting access to my bag, making it a struggle to retrieve clean clothing, not a good thing.
At the retailer, the manager was called and, calmly, yanked the offending clip free whilst giving me that look that needed no words…men!
“You’ve stuck it in the wrong way” she said, her face as straight as it could be “if you go in at an angle you’ll get jammed and it won’t pop out!”
She showed me several times and I have to admit she had it off to a tee but when I tried it jammed again.
“Too fast, slow down” she said “here, let me show you again.”
She proceeded to engage both ends of the clip as if she could do it blindfolded. It was at this point it felt best to leave the store not to return until next year’s trip at least.
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