“You’re giving a part of yourself when you grow a plant and give it to somebody else.” Art Scarpa
As I drew the curtains back, the sun was already spreading lazily over the allotments in the distance. After a long winter extended by the persistent threat of Jack Frost, spring seemed here at last.
Back in my childhood, I would crane my neck out of my bedroom window to see if I could hear sounds of playing out, no need for mobile phones back then. The unmistakable sounds of activity were like a drug to lure you from your cage.
So it is now as I watch the various allotment holders come and go as news of good weather spreads fast. From the newbies who eagerly plant and then sit as if crops will immediately spring forth neatly cellophaned, to those with a few more years of hard-earned disappointments behind them – steady as you go.
May is the beginning for many experienced growers, scarred by far too many bad experiences from going too early.
The newbies abound with freshly purchased gadgets, enough seed packets to feed a small country. The oldies tie any old tat together as if eking out an existence in a refugee camp.
Like ants on a hill, the various holders of precious parcels of the previously abandoned land, dig, fork and prod, moving lazily in the bright sunshine, fetching water buckets back and forth.
Community rules here, everybody is equal, Mother Nature the only Boss. You do not mess with her.
Back In The Banana Republic
The same week Hartlepool decided that over half a century was long enough for Labour to have done better, here in Bradford the ruling Labour party retained overall control.
To continue a theme, you reap what you sow. Here is an extract from the local paper.
Returning Officer Kersten England…referring to the turnout – around 37%…said a mix of “lousy” weather and some people still not willing to venture to polling stations due to the pandemic had an impact…there was a huge number of people who voted by postal votes. Out of the 139,000 people who voted, 67,632 were by postal votes.
Without wishing to comment on the pathetic excuse of the weather from our £200k+ a year CEO, what could possibly go wrong with elections in Bradford where almost 50% of votes cast are postal?
Modern Life
It was time to renew my phone contract which I considered would be a two-minute job. Here is how torture commenced:
Tobi : Hello, my name is TOBi, Vodafone’s digital assistant. So I can answer your question quickly, just tell me in a few words how I can help.
You : You have informed me my current plan runs out in July. What are my options?
TOBi is thinking…
TOBi : You can sign in to your My Vodafone account or the My Vodafone App to access your full plan details. If you don’t have a My Vodafone account, you can register for one here.
You : I am already signed in!
TOBi : Okay that’s great, glad I could be of assistance!
TOBi : Can I help you with anything else?
You : You have done nothing!
At that point I ceased the “conversation” and attempted to speak to a human being and was eventually passed through to Omar who was just as useless. Finally, James came on, the fastest speaking Irishman in the world wanting to offer me unlimited everything.
I told him I did not need unlimited anything but now I have unlimited talk (why?), unlimited texts (to who?) and four times the amount of data I previously had even though I hardly used any of the old stuff.
And I’m 55p a month better off for which I lost half an hour of my life I will never get back.
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