“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”
Margaret Thatcher
Those of us that trudged to the polling stations last week will have done so in the knowledge that little really would change. As a classic example, our glorious leader, Hapless Hinchcliffe, was duly re-elected in a ward where a wheely bin with a red rosette would win every time.
The turnout was less than 28%, typical of many other wards but here resides the Leader; surely she could inspire more love and devotion from the young downtrodden populace she represents? She polled 50% of those who could be bothered, enough to trouser circa £50k a year for the next four years whilst her beloved young population manage on a little less.
In anybody’s language, polling 13.8% of the electorate in a safe seat reflects a very poor reflection of one’s standing.
Unlucky!
One of my clients is the UK’s leading provider of stages for massive events like Glastonbury. Shamelessly, I mentioned that I would get down on my knees or even climb a rigging tower for a backstage pass to Bruce Springsteen. Apparently, this was not the first request of this type as one of their employees is similarly hooked.
His dream came true a few years ago at Wembley, one sunny Saturday afternoon, within touching distance of the great man. The trouble was he became so delirious with excitement – honestly – that he was ejected because he appeared under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Despite his frantic protests his lifelong dream, vanished. How cruel life can be?
Fake News
A journalist’s lot is a tough one, especially in an age where the dead tree press is under so much pressure from new media. However, to print drivel is simply not acceptable.
This T&A article has to be an early entrant for best fictional piece of 2019 claiming almost 900,000 people have used a cycle route between Leeds and Bradford since it has opened.
Well I suppose they had to justify the £29m spend somehow but this is quite clearly utter bollocks amounting to around a thousand people a day using this utter folly. As ever, when challenged to defend the story the T&A went strangely quiet; maybe they nipped out for a bike ride?
The scheme was created by West Yorkshire Combined Authority in partnership with Leeds City Council and Bradford Council.
Enough said?
Bingley Music Festival
After the Council’s cock and cover-up comes a bold plan to resurrect this event from the local rugby club – see here for ticket information .
Given the Council’s pledge to bring back the event next year, if this is successful it may leave even more egg on a few well paid faces. Good luck to all involved; surely localism at its truest?
Marketing
Perhaps second only to local authorities come marketing people with their ability to piss inordinate amounts of money into a landfill site. It is Cricket World Cup Year for those of you that were not aware and, apparently, I am our club’s champion, or so a letter told me the other day.
The marketing people seem to think that kids wish to wear more wrist bands than a Zulu warrior. Only a few weeks ago, Yorkshire CCC supplied us with a bag enough for the local village. These are designed to change colour when sun-block is required which skin does equally as well. They will also take a million years to decompose; hopefully by then it will have stopped hosing it down.
This week the ECB sent me another bag of garish bands along with some bunting which I think will come in useful to scare the shit out of the birds trying to eat my lettuce crop. In fact I think the bands my be useful to tie in my broccoli plants so all is not lost. They will most likely be seen adorning fat old men trying to look “hip” in replica shirts two sizes too small, half-pissed on the terraces as the cricket passes them by.
Finally, we are encouraged to hold family days when the games are on which is fine if you have the means to pay Sky’s exorbitant subscription rates. With the ECB about to be showered with Sky money from next year, I have a simple suggestion. Sack your marketing team, save a fortune and the planet then negotiate an affordable Sky package for ordinary clubs.
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